Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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