spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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