Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize