trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
