how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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