Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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