I can text with my tongue
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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