Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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