At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I understand Curling. That high.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
