Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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