What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm too high and old for this...
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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