did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
