forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
