But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
from now on my penis is your penis
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
