I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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