We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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