Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
why is half of my head shaved?
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