Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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