is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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