So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
