I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize