What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
