Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
