He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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