I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
