Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize