I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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