did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just want to make out with him forever
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
