the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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