plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize