she was so not down for the gang bang
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
