You work out of a Hotel?
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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