tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
