So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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