there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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