why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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