his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
