Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
