Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
