the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
