I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
