Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
