I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
