Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
