The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I think my vagina is haunted
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
