discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
