4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
