I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Randomize