and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
