i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
