This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
