the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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