I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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