There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
