She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
