Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
