I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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