Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
