Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
