____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
