It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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