Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize