dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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