im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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