I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
