Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
