Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
