is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
