He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
where does the pee come out of this thing
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
