what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i came on her dog
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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