he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
