who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
