we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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