nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you never un-have a 4some
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
