i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Hippo gnu deer
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
