I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
