we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
