those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
