I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
