I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
