I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
